I know I’m an introvert. I don’t know why I’m an introvert. In the past, because I wanted to be an extrovert, I tried to attend many parties and failed to speak with new people. Each time I try to speak with unknown people, I have trouble finding topics we can talk about.
What I should do is admit the fact that I’m an introvert because this is just a tendency. I should struggle with the way I can deal with situations where I think I’m poor.
Based on the book “Quiet” and what a professor said to us, I learned what I should do as an introvert. They are “preparation” and “deepness”.
Preparation
The first thing I can do is preparation. I thought I understood this point because of the results of Clifton Strengths (StrengthsFinder). Two of my strengths are deliberative and focus, which shows that I have to prepare everything before I try something.
https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/254033/strengthsfinder.aspx
However, my level of preparation was not high. I often prepared some things in my work time, but I did them partially. I could prepare more and more things. For instance, when choosing a dinner place, I should browse some candidate places more meticulously. I could not focus on talks when I was in a crowded place so I could look at several points.
How far is the distance between seats? / How loud is the sound of music in the restaurant?/
How crowded is this store when I need to visit? / Who are usual customers in this restaurant? / What menus does this restaurant have? Do some menus include easy-to-eat food like soup? This is because my brain doesn’t work well when I’m full.
It depends on which point you should take care of. What is important is to decide my criteria and check candidates according to them.
In addition, I should prepare for topics I can talk about. I lacked imagination when I initiated talking.
What do I want to get after this talk? / What response will people do after I choose this phrase? / What perspective will this person have? / What backgrounds will this person have?
It takes time to consider these topics. However, I should look at the fact that it is easier for me to imagine steps that could happen beforehand compared to talking randomly.
Deepness
Even if I admit I am an introvert, talking with friends is essential. I think that one of the images of introverts is “no talk”, but it isn’t true.
I feel this is the fact that deepness is essential for introverts as many connections are crucial for extroverts.
A week ago, because I bumped into shocking events for me, I wanted to be alone. I spend a few days without talking with anyone except for store clerks. Gradually, I lost my willingness to do everything. I needed to spend time on my bed for a long time. After that, one of my friends called me. She had some trivial things she wanted to talk about, but I talked with her about what I felt sad in this independent time. I didn’t know what it was, but after talking with her, I sensed I recovered my willingness to do what I had to do.
Introverts are poor at talking with random people. However, it doesn’t mean that you should stop talking. Talking private things with a few people is essential for introverts. I thought talking private things was inefficient and it might be true if Artificial intelligence judged this. However, we are humans and societies are necessary for living. Therefore, talking is crucial for everyone, just the perspective of talking is slightly different.
